PaRappa Remixed
by Chris Gammon
Summary: PaRappa has to baby sit his little sister, Pinto. But he also wants to go on a date with Sunny. Naturally, Joe Chin swoops in and fills the void left by PaRappa. Now girlfriendless, he meets a friend of Katy Kat’s. A shy little lamb girl named Lammy.
1. The First Gig

_This story is a remix...a retelling of the PaRappa games and such using charters from the Japan only cartoon and one character from the Japan only comics, Square-E-Bear. None of these characters belong to me, but eventually I will have a PSP with the re-release, which is why I'm doing this story in the first place. _

_Yay for renewed interest! _

It started off like any other day…well, not like any other day… I opened the fridge, "Noodles."  
The freezer, "Noodles."  
The cabinets, "Noodles."  
Out of hesitation, I opened the oven, "Noodles?!"  
I glanced over to see my little sister's lunchbox sitting innocently on the counter. Suddenly, it opened by itself, and a blue tentacle slithered out, grabbing a box of noodles while making sounds of what I think was happiness. It slithered back inside and I heard munching noises coming from within.  
"Find anything to…why are you cowering in the corner like that?" Pinto, my little sister, asked as she walked in on me.  
"Wh-wh-what was…THAT?!" I stammered, pointing to her lunchbox on the counter.  
"My lunchbox." She replied, as if nothing was wrong.  
"No, I mean…INSIDE of your lunchbox…"  
"There's nothing there, silly." She giggled as she picked it up off the counter.  
"Uh, okay…sure..." I agreed. It was too early to argue.  
"So did you find anything to eat?" she asked, breaking the awkward silence.  
"Well, I hope you like noodles." I answered, picking myself up off the floor, steeling a glance at her lunchbox, just to be sure.  
"What's with all the noodles anyway?" Pinto asked, sounding annoyed.  
"Because I won a contest at Beard Burger and got a 'lifetime supply'." I said sarcastically, making quote marks in the air as I rolled my eyes. If you ask me, I rather my life ended now, cause I'm sick of noodles!  
"I want chocolate milk!" she whined.  
"How about…Noodle Casserole?" I asked, rubbing the back of my neck nervously.  
"I WANT CHOCOLATE MILK!" she screamed, which knocked me back onto the floor.

To think I gave up a date with Sunny Funny for this?

Just as I was about to make another noodle suggestion, the phone rang. As I suspected, it was Sunny Funny.  
"Hey, um…yeah, something came up. I have to baby sit my little sister whose visiting." I said, rubbing the back of my head as I glanced over at Pinto playing with that thing in her lunchbox. I shuddered slightly.  
"Oh, okay." Sunny replied, sounding disappointed. "I guess some other time?"  
"Ah, sure!" I piped up. The fact that she was willing to be so patient with me was amaz...  
"Hold on, I got another call." She put me on hold, and I felt a weight in my stomach. I know what's going to happen…  
She came back, "Hey, um. Joe Chin just called, and said he was open. So, um…if it's alright with you…"  
"Yeah, it's fine…" I sighed, my ears drooping lower than usual.  
"Okay, bye." And she hung up.

I stood there for what felt like forever, not even aware that she had hung up. Finally, I sighed sadly and hung up the phone.  
"Who was that?" Pinto asked.  
"Sunny…" I mumbled.  
"What did she want?"  
"None of your business!" I snapped. Then I froze, realizing what I had done. "Sorry…" I muttered.  
"She dumped you, huh?"  
I glanced up. "What do you know about being dumped?"  
Pinto only shrugged and skipped off, taking that thing in her lunchbox with her thankfully.  
I merely sighed in frustration and threw myself onto the couch.

_ She didn't dump me…did she? Technically we weren't going out to begin with, and tonight was supposed to seal the deal, and…_

What kind of brother am I? Blaming my sister for my problems?Boxy Boy, the little boom box robot that my dad built, walked up and saw my foul mood. He played some music to cheer me up, and suddenly I felt much better.  
Rap. It was my favorite music. Someday I aspired to be a rapper. Hopefully that would win Sunny…  
Darn it! I made myself upset again  
No, I can't let this get me down.

_ I gotta believe!_

A knock at the door snapped me from my thoughts, and I leapt off the couch to answer it. A blue cat, dressed in a dark blue tank top adorned with a white star, red and white striped bell bottoms, and platform sandals, greeted me.  
"Hey Katy! What's up?" I asked, startling her that I was so happy to see her.  
"I came to tell you the great news! My band just got an audition!" she screamed, jumping up and down as her tail swayed excitedly.  
"That's great news! Um…your band?" I asked. "I don't remember you having a band."  
"That's right! I know I told you I was thinking of starting one, but I finally did! Only problem is, you're the only one with a driver's license and…"  
"Say no more!" I smiled as I held up my hand. "I'm always willing to help a friend!"  
"Great! So when can you be available?" she asked, her eyes giving the hint that she hoped now…  
"Well, I could help you now…but…" I rubbed my neck nervously.  
"But…what?" Katy asked, starting to look disappointed.  
"PARAPPA! UEE WANTS MORE NOODLES!" Pinto screamed from down the hall.  
"That…" I sighed.

**_The First Gig_**

We followed Katy to her house, where the other members of her new band were waiting. In the driveway was a tacky white van with the name MilkCan painted on the side in pink and blue.  
"Thanks to my Dad!" Katy said rather proudly as she noticed me staring at the van. I nervously laughed, hoping I wouldn't be caught dead driving something like that…but, to help a friend…  
We walked into the house, and that's when I saw….her…..  
She stood there, nervously waving at me. She was a cute little lamb girl, wearing a baggy red t-shirt, tattered jeans, and worn sneakers with pink untied laces. Her guitar was slung over her shoulder.  
My eyes stopped staring at her when I felt something hitting me in the stomach. I looked down to see a yellow, fox I guess, wearing a red dress and a stick of dynamite in her head. How or why it was there, I don't know. But I couldn't understand a word she was saying anyway.  
"MA-SAN! Stop treating guests like that!" Katy snapped, and Ma-San stopped her pummeling.  
"Well, what do you think?" Katy asked, as she helped me recover.  
"She's beautiful." I muttered, as I glanced back at the lamb girl.  
"What…" Katy asked, letting go of me suddenly.  
"Wha? I mean…that I meant that the band idea! It's beautiful!" I stammered. _Nice save PaRappa! _I scolded myself.  
"Yeah, we thought so too…" Katy agreed, somewhat skeptical. She was smart, and I hope I didn't give away too much for her to work from.

After proper introductions, which meant no more stomach punches, I learned that the lamb girl was named Lammy.  
Lammy. What a nice name! Sounds sweet, rolls off the tongue, and just makes you feel all warm and…  
Wait a minuet…do I have a crush? Another one?  
That's when I remembered, all the things I did to impress Sunny Funny, I saw her there too! She seemed more impressed than Sunny did!

Could it be that…I'm in love again…?

"Well, time to get rolling! Let's go girls!" Katy commanded, and the others filed into the van.  
_ Argh! The van! I hope no one lives to tell about this…_


	2. Lesson 1

_I may have called this a re-telling, but in reality it's a pseudo-sequel. I assume the two PaRappa games already happened, and the events in UmJammey Lammy happened before Lammy met Katy Kat and formed the band. Hope this clears up any confusion…_

"Hey PaRappa? Um…your sitting kind of close…" Lammy said shyly, the first time she spoke.  
"OOPS! Sorry!" I apologized and scooted back over, gripping the wheel and getting ready to drive this…thing.  
"Alright! Let's go!" Katy exclaimed, slamming her door shut to signal she was inside. I glanced in the mirror to make sure no one was behind me, and noticed Ma-San was reading a book, one that looked pretty complex too!  
"_Check the left, check the right._" I muttered to myself. Even though I got my license, I was still a bit nervous, and Moosilini's training never went away.  
I pulled out of the driveway, steeling glances everywhere to make sure no one saw me, and drove off towards the highway.

After about an hour or so, everyone started to say they were hungry. We pulled into Beard Burger, finally able to get something other than noodles!  
Little did I know that someone else was there  
"Hey, PaRappa! Nice wheels!" said the most condescending voice I have ever heard. I glanced up from the dash to see none other than Joe Chin, smiling smugly.  
Of all people to see me in this thing!  
Part of me wanted to hall off and punch him in the face. But the other part of me figured that driving a van full of cute girls would be enough to elevate my masculinity over his.  
That, and Sunny was hanging on his arm, looking at me.

"I thought you said you had to babysit your little sister?" she asked, figuring I was lying to her.  
"I am. She's in here with us." I motioned to Pinto, sitting in between Katy and Ma-San.  
"What are you doing with…them?" she asked, and I noted that pause. She was good friends with Katy, but obviously didn't like the others stealing her attention.  
"I'm the only one with a license, and they got a gig…and…" I began wringing my paws nervously, feeling that Sunny wouldn't believe a word of it.  
"So they got you to be their driver! Slave labor, way to go!" Joe Chin said with a grin, eliciting a chuckle from Sunny.

They turned to walk off, and I wanted to say something but Katy stopped me.  
"Let's just go, PaRappa. We'll find somewhere else to go."  
I sighed and slumped my shoulders. "I guess you're right." Then I got an idea.  
"Hold that thought a second!" I darted from the van, towards Joe Chin's limo.  
A few minuets later, I arrived with a shiny new laptop computer under my arm.  
"Theft proof? My tail!" I said with a grin, and we drove off.

Sure it was a petty act of revenge, but hey, it was better than violence.

Lammy glanced at her watch. "Oh no! We've only got five minuets!" she cried.  
"Not to worry. You just got to believe!" I cried, and slammed on the gas.

As we were speeding, Katy began singing to warm up her voice…  
"We've got to get to the concert on time"

I couldn't help but play along.  
"Meanwhile we can just make a rhyme!"

Katy smiled, and realized what I was doing.  
"Hope we don't get caught, speeding down the line!"  
"I hope so too, I can't afford a fine!"

Lammy had began to play along, matching our words with guitar riffs. I had to admit, she was good.  
"We got to make it to the big show!"  
"No time to waste, we've really got to go!"

Katy decided to throw me a tough line, trying to trip me up…  
"Hope everyone thinks my voice is eloquent!"  
"Everyone will think you're voice is….uh…um…"

Just when everyone was about to laugh, the sight of red and blue police lights made us stop cold.  
I pulled over and waited for the motorcycle cop to approach us. He didn't look like any cop I've seen around town. He was a purple rabbit, and had a scowl on his face.

"Not only were you speeding, you were disturbing the peace with your awful singing!" he sneered in a nasally voice.  
"Uh, sorry, but we're kind of in an emergency…" I stammered.  
"What kind of emergency?" he asked, eyeing us with skepticism.

That was when Lammy had an idea.

"OH NO! I'M GOING INTO LABOR!" she cried, startling everyone else, including the cop.  
"Uh, that's my cue! Sorry officer!" I cried, and sped off, faster than before.

The cop only glowered, unmoving…  
_I'll make sure this town gets what it deserves! And that includes getting rid of them!_

"Nice save Lammy! Where did you come up with that?" Katy asked.  
"Long story, but it worked!" she replied, blushing a bright red.  
I blushed too. She's talented and smart…

Before I could say anything, Katy interrupted.  
"We're here! Jack Smash Studios!"  
Lammy looked worried. Something about the name Jack Smash made her uncomfortable.


	3. Lesson 2

Sure he looked normal, and was dressed in a suit and dorky green glasses. But something about Jack Smash was off. Way off…  
He had a pumpkin for a head! I guess around here anything is possible, but still. I didn't like his creepy vibe.

"Welcome girls! Welcome! Can't wait to get your first single recorded!" he said eagerly, shaking their hands. He seemed interested in Lammy, which made her feel uneasy.  
I wanted to say something, but Jack shoved me out of the way and led the girls into the booth.  
"Alright, you said that this song was called "No Cutting Corners"? Right?" he asked, getting the tape ready.  
"Actually, it's called Millennium Gir…" Katy spoke.  
"Right, right! Whatever! Let's get this show on the road!"

They jammed for a few minuets, until they stopped and Lammy looked at me.  
"Wanna be in the song?" she asked.  
"Sure!" I piped up, and left Pinto on the leather couch as I ran into the booth.  
"Great! Yoko Teriyaki always needs new members!" Jack muttered to himself.  
"Alright, let's get started!"

_**Lesson 2:**_

"If you're going to be in the song, we have to redo the middle part. So just follow along." Katy commanded.  
I nodded, and began moving to the beat.

"I'm facing all the problems that'll get me"  
"Facin' the problems that'll get me!" I was just improvising the whole time, and did pretty good!

"Cuz I don't really wanna spend the time see"  
"I don't wanna spend no time see!"

"All of this hype all around,"  
"All of this, hype from all around"

"Seems like, a waste of time"  
"Seems like a waste of time with big sound!"

"Let me tell you, let me give everybody little something"  
"But let me give you, A word of advice, it seems like a waste of time but it's nice!"

"In life, you just can't get going around cutting corners!"  
"And in life, struggle with help you later, no cuttin' corners!"

"That was great girls! And you too, um…whoever you are!"  
My ears drooped in disappointment.  
"Let's rap this up and get it to the studio for editing!" Jack proclaimed.  
We filed out of the booth, and walked into the studio, unaware that Jack had grabbed Lammy by the wrist.  
"But someone wants to speak with you alone!"

Once we got into the room, I glanced around.  
"Where's Lammy?" I asked, sounding a bit worried.  
Ma-San said something I didn't understand, but she obviously didn't know.  
"Good question…" Katy pondered.

"So good to see you again!" a female voice crooned.  
Lammy looked around in the darkness, and knew who it was.  
"I was so impressed by your skills in the underworld, that I want you back!"  
"No, I can't! I want to stay here!" Lammy protested.  
The voice revealed itself to be a green, feminine being. She wore a purple dress, and two green antenna perched atop her head.  
"I'm sorry dear." She said smoothly, "but I'm afraid that no one denies Yoko Teriyaki!"

Meanwhile, outside the studio, was another mysterious figure.  
"So this is where she is, huh?" she snarled. "She's not going to replace me that easily! I'll burn this place to the ground like I did that lame-o dojo!"  
The figure produced a lighter from her pocket, and looked at the image of Yoko on it. She growled slightly, and lit the lighter.  
"And I'll kill my rival off while I'm at it!"


End file.
